How To Handle Toxic Family Members

Create some healthy space for yourself. Consider How You Communicate. Find out how you can break free. Toxic sibling relationships are simply the opposite. Unlike most other folks commenting, I broke off a relationship with a toxic family member, my mother, about two years ago, and it was honestly the best thing I could do for myself. Art of the Deal on a WW scale. How do I stop my family from being bullied? How To Deal With A Toxic Family Plan Your Responses Ahead Of Time. She chose the latter. “When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don't wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off. She exhibits a tremendous sense of entitlement and feels totally justified in her tantrums. If it is a friend or family member, I know it is much harder. Many adults seem to come from low-nurturance (dysfunctional) childhoods. Scan your life and notice what friends, family, colleagues, co-workers or romantic partners sap your energy, clog your life and bring you down. Use whatever resources you have. Toxic Silence: Why Narcissists Go Silent and How to Cope How do you deal with living with a due to me not being the only family member in my car others wanted. Ways to Deal with Toxic Family Members. Quotes about toxic friends, family and relationships. Toxic people: Lie on a regular basis. 12 Things The Family Scapegoat Will Know To Be True You are portrayed to family members in the most negative light possible. Well, you owe those toxic parents and family members nothing! Absolutely nothing! You owe everything to your future and to the wonderful life you can create. Toxic family is the worst! 2. This article was republished with permission from. Understand how to perceive scheming family members now. I just don’t know how to resolve it. A few minutes into their call, President Donald Trump brought up something that. That's why I don't think anyone should be made to feel bad for setting clear and firm boundaries with family members who are toxic. Sometimes they're co-workers, friends, or sadly, even family members. There are two ways you can use in dealing with toxic family members. How to Stop Bullying by Toxic Adult Children. #2 - Stand Up For Yourself. How to Deal with Toxic Family Members To get started, get clarity. She only lived a few miles away at the. By Travis Bradberry Author, Emotional Intelligence 2. For years she has worn down my other sister (the middle child of 3 – I am the youngest), constantly undermining her, criticising everything she has done, and frequently recalling all kinds of tales to my mum and I. Create some healthy space for yourself. 10 Steps to Recovering from a Toxic Trauma Bond relationship in which there is a great deal of pain interspersed get rid of or keep my distance from family and friends who are toxic. To be on the safe side, I always erred on the side of caution and passed onto a coworker any family or friend that came across my desk while working in insurance and billing which isn't even the detailed sensitive information. 8 Signs Your In-Laws Are Toxic And How To Deal If They Are There are the in-laws who view their new son- or daughter-in-law as just another member of their family. Iv even accepted I’m the black sheep of the family because I don’t like to argue and try to be pretty low key during the holidays. Because that is the problem with my family , everyone is depending on me. Get to know each other. Sometimes toxic family members can keep you up at night as you constantly think about your behavior with them. Reminding yourself that caring and criticism are often related helps, but it doesn’t change the fact that. Toxic family members have the advantage of gaining access to your financial information. 6 Tips for Cutting Off Contact with Narcissistic Family. I endured explosive, sometimes violent, bursts of rage. Some of us feel that once we start ANY relationship, family or otherwise, with someone who then turns out to be not the person we thought they were, it would be “un-Christian” for us to leave. The problem becomes even worse when members of the addict’s family are actively enabling self-destructive behaviors. It was filled with both blessings and pain. com What to do with toxic family. • Focus on what you can control, which is your reaction to her. My mother and sister are jealous of my lifestyle. At the time, I wasn’t completely sure where she was living and. Acceptance is key, don’t argue with me because I don’t make the rules. ” My family has mastered the tactic of deriving humor from my grandmother’s bewildering behavior. Most people who know her find her difficult to be around. What to expect when cutting ties with toxic family members & how to cope when family hurts you. Don’t Argue with Toxic Family Members, Coworkers, or Friends in Your Head Dealing with toxic coworkers in the workplace. If you feel stuck in self blame, grief, anxiety or indecision about how to handle your scapegoating family members, counseling can help. Determining a toxic person. This is a Group for discussing Scapegoating. Willis Newman, Esmeralda Newman, bible-teaching-about. It calls for a lot of planning, strategic execution of the plan and concerted efforts to adhere to the plans or strategies that are already in place. Helping Families Deal with the Stress of Relocation After a Disaster. Family First Intervention? Addicts and alcoholics have taught their families everything they know about their addiction and how to handle it. My parents realized early on how toxic certain members of both their families were, so they cultivated the friendships of various friends to have in our lives that played the role of grandparents, aunts and uncles. In this article, we will learn about the characteristics of toxic family members and how to deal with such toxicity in our lives. It could be a toxic mother-in-law, a domineering father, a manipulative cousin, or even your own bratty child. Family members who are shareholders will likely come around to see that the family member had to go. What to do with people who are jealous of your success at home. There you have it, 10 toxic family quotes which will help you calmly deal with toxic family members in your family who are making your life a living hell with love and understanding. It was filled with both blessings and pain. How to Deal with a Toxic Family Member In this counseling answer: "Take some time away from the family home for a short time at first. Quotes About Toxic Family Members. Rewrite your part in the family drama. Negative people don’t run your life. Toxic people know how to push you to your very lowest, and then they turn around, and they give you kindness to pull you back in. To deal with toxic. Let’s just say your family doesn’t exactly resemble a perfect Hallmark gathering of super connected cousins or in-sync siblings. Here are some ways to handle toxic family members that you have to deal with. It now over to you. , explains, “I have worked with countless people who have lived their lives dealing with toxic family members and significant others. Fortunately, the following suggestions can help you deal with these people. Naturally, it's generally best to avoid getting close to these people, if possible. No one's known you longer than your family members have, which means they've got a rich back catalog of job loss , personal failures, and exes to draw. In this case, you can try asking them to get professional help, but if that doesn't work cut all links with them and end the relationship outright. Set limits: Know what you want and what you won't allow. Just because the toxic person in question is a family member doesn't mean you have to shrug and put up with their crap. Instead, keep the visit short. To keep my energy high and stay empowered, I surrounded myself with as much outside support as possible, from friends and family members to interns who worked on other projects for the same company. Im stuck in the moment and do my best to keep distance and avoid whatever I can. 3 different strategies or approaches. There are two ways you can deal with them. 5 Ways To Deal With Toxic Family Members by oddboys / Life Style / 17 Dec 2017 Breaking up with a toxic boyfriend, girlfriend or a friend is relatively easy and there is lots of advice on this topic. Surf the wave. Support your family unconditionally, but remember to look after your own needs. A toxic relationship can manifest in many ways. On an unconscious level, it’s hard for a family member to know where one ends and another begins. But it is important that we be measured in our reactions. Most of us purposely try to rid negativity and toxic people from our lives. Sometimes toxic family members can keep you up at night as you constantly think about your behavior with them. With friends and acquaintances, it may be easy to simply cut them out and move on with your life, but with family members, it becomes infinitely more difficult. جـديـد هـبـال. Also, never forget what they have done to you so maybe the day will come when you can sit down and talk about it. by Sally Stich | April 17, 2014. Just knowing them well enough to say hi, or maybe borrowing a cup of sugar or loaning a gardening tool, can build trust and understanding. With friends and acquaintances, it may be easy to simply cut them out and move on with your life, but with family members, it becomes infinitely more difficult. Even when I have walked away and given each family member countless 2nd chances and cut my toxic sinning family members off, some continue to mentally abuse me thru other family members. At that point, you're so low that the dose of hope lifts you way up. Especially when the person you're kicking to the curb isn't a love interest or pal, but a family member (more on breaking up with a friend here). Narcissism is a serious personality disorder in which a person gives more importance to his personal interests than the interests of others. The toxic person may be a family member, friend, or someone you work with, and could even be your supervisor or boss. 8 Helpful Strategies For Dealing With Toxic Family Members 1. That's why I don't think anyone should be made to feel bad for setting clear and firm boundaries with family members who are toxic. If you're dealing with difficult family members, I'm about to take you through a practical guide for navigating those family relationship challenges. There are two ways you can use in dealing with toxic family members. A toxic family member never seems to be satisfied. Signs of Jealous Family Members and How to Deal With Them. [Serious] People with toxic family members (especially parents), how do you deal with them? If you were able to get away from them; what happened, and how has your life changed since then?. Be clear on what you need before trying to communicate or enforce the boundary. Do not normalize toxicity. , explains, “I have worked with countless people who have lived their lives dealing with toxic family members and significant others. Posted Dec 14, 2016. Subscribe Christmas is the perfect time to celebrate the love of God and family and to create memories that will. In fact, I had a sweet reader write in and ask me how to deal with toxic family members Biblically not that long ago, and I thought you might benefit from hearing my answer to her as well. What's the best method for dealing with toxic family members? How to deal with insults (Law of Attraction) 3:58 · 2,171 Views. Sometimes family bullying happens simply because the adult bully has never learned how to relate in a healthy way. How To Deal With Toxic Family Members May 31, 2018. These past 3 yrs have been the easiest and it’s because I am not looking for the lesson in others miserable lives. 1- You can either completely cut them out of your life. How to set boundaries with toxic people There are three parts to setting boundaries. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress. Raise Your Vibration Today. Jesus and Toxic People June 7, 2009. to deal with poison, toxin. If you have a family member who has a tendency to make controversial or hurtful remarks, rehearse a few ways to handle that moment, suggests Vinay Saranga, MD, a psychiatrist and founder of Saranga Comprehensive Psychiatry in Apex, North Carolina. Take a Good Look in the Mirror. Because of the way my aunt and uncle treated both my grandfather and my late grandmother over the past 4 years (The more ill and help they needed, the further they moved away and almost stopped coming to see them all together. Imagining a life where you disassociate from a family member might seem unfathomable, but it's possible—because you don't need them. Yet, you need to remember that you do not need to answer every phone call or return every text the minute they send it. As noted above, family bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Regardless if they were built on a rocky platform or if things started great then turned sour, sometimes things simply aren’t meant to last forever. Wash hands before eating, drinking, smoking or going to the toilet. This can be a result of feeling obliged to continue toxic relationships against one's best interest. Stay one or two nights at your parents’ house instead of three or four. Decide Who Is Creating The Problem. I’ve never been so happy in my life. Here’s the best way to be a good neighbor and deal with a bad one. The best way to handle this is to address toxic employees head-on and directly ask them to approach you right away the next time they have an issue with you or your work, Lambert said. #5 - Forgive, But Don't Forget. My mother and sister are jealous of my lifestyle. people tend to dismiss it as no big deal but studies show that. Subversive behavior is any type of. Our topic tonight is "Toxic Relationships: How To Handle Them. Toxic churches are led by dictators who think members are to do exactly what they say whether good, bad or indifferent. So, if you cannot fix your relationship with that person, simply let go of them and try to do what is right for you. Do not let their actions and words hunt you, instead forgive them and move on. 8 Signs Your In-Laws Are Toxic And How To Deal If They Are There are the in-laws who view their new son- or daughter-in-law as just another member of their family. Step One: Know Your Tolerance for Toxic. These people come in the forms of cousins, Aunts, siblings, parents, and even spouses. Sometimes healing comes from severing ties with a toxic family member. Maybe even coworkers. " As a child, you do not know how to properly deal with a toxic family member that is treating you this way or even realize how inappropriate this behavior is. A typical conversation on a Saturday afternoon when a cup final is on TV: wife: you not talking to me!? husband: ok what do you want to talk about? wife: I don't know husband: ok what do you want to do today? wife: I don't know husband: ok i. The main thing to remember is that taking a time out from a toxic relative, setting boundaries for the relationship, and stepping away from their drama doesn’t make you a bad person. , to republish in a book or use for a commercial purpose) without SHRM’s permission. * ALL people have toxic people in their lives, so you are not alone in this. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Maybe that separation is temporary, but maybe it is for a long time or the rest of your life. 10 Signs You Have Toxic Family Members And 3 Things You Can Do About It 1. Your Options 1. Your prayer can be used by God in a person’s life, their family, and the generations after them. There are plenty of times where we just don’t have a choice. 2 thoughts on “ 5 Ways to Deal With Toxic Family Members ” Jacqueline November 15, 2010 at 4:01 pm. Family members who are shareholders will likely come around to see that the family member had to go. In my case, I have to do this sober- yuck. Also, never forget what they have done to you so maybe the day will come when you can sit down and talk about it. When toxic situations occurred, the chaplains were available to pray with employees, to be the friendly hand on the shoulder, and to keep someone from going postal. Toxic people know how to push you to your very lowest, and then they turn around, and they give you kindness to pull you back in. First and foremost, you must accept the fact that not everyone’s family is healthy or available for them to lean on, to call on, or to go home to. Having survived an extremely toxic and abusive relationship with a family member, who got away with it because he is not mentally ill, it must be said, that sometimes it is NOT the person with the mental disease but the person without one that is a boundary violater. Its an example from how my family is. As with every struggle in life, the Bible provides wisdom and guidelines for godly living. How do you handle toxic relationships? How to handle people who undermine your success. And, we’re right behind you 110%. Toxic friendships hurt and often leave us feeling frustrated or angry. Read books about coping with toxic family members to hear other people's stories and gain further insights and strategies. Often, scapegoating begins in childhood and continues into and throughout adulthood. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be done. Child abuse (say: ah-BYOOS) can affect all kinds of kids, no matter where they live, how much money their families have, or who they live with. Some arguments can be resolved quickly, but other feuds run deep. Toxic relationships are those relationships that give you the feeling that you’re not taking care of ourselves the way you’d love to, mentally, spiritually, and physically. The Christian Guide to Dealing With Toxic Family Members May 25, 2018 Kim Parker, LCSW Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality!. Seek Counseling. She chose the latter. Family is supposed to be our safe haven. To keep my energy high and stay empowered, I surrounded myself with as much outside support as possible, from friends and family members to interns who worked on other projects for the same company. Willis Newman, Esmeralda Newman, bible-teaching-about. For example, if you are interacting with negative people and these are people you have to deal with on a regular basis - like a friend, spouse, a family member or someone you work with, you should never allow their negativity to affect you and what's most important, you should never blame them if it does. Everybody has a difficult family member. 11 signs you have a toxic family Now, you have a general idea as to what makes a family toxic. Examine yourself first. These past 3 yrs have been the easiest and it’s because I am not looking for the lesson in others miserable lives. Community and family members of a man killed by police in Riverton last month are continuing to press for answers and. Learning how to handle toxic family members will strengthen all your relationships and improve your mental and emotional health. The main thing to remember is that taking a time out from a toxic relative, setting boundaries for the relationship, and stepping away from their drama doesn’t make you a bad person. Toxic relationships mean different things to different people. Listen to the audio player to hear Yolanda's Take on how to handle your family when you feel they are all against you. The question then isn’t on how we can avoid negative feedback, but to learn to roll and deal with them. In September, Moore pleaded guilty to jury tampering, conspiracy to commit perjury and perjury, all. Community and family members are still seeking answers about the shooting. MEGHAN Markle’s nephew Tyler Dooley will soon star in an MTV reality show playing up his connection to his royal aunt — but there are some other members of his famous family he’s keen to. Figure out the root of the problem. The relationship harms other relationships in your life. How to separate yourself from toxic family members. This is where boundaries come into play, but first, you must know and believe that the Bible encourages boundaries!. #2 - Stand Up For Yourself. I have family members who would never say something racist to someone of a different race but when they are with their people (other whites) that’s when their true colors show. Letting go is hard, but it's especially hard when it's toxic family & toxic family members. Unless you still reside under the same roof, consider whether an alternate form of communication could help maintain the relationship with your toxic relative. “Talk about what needs to stop and what needs to start,” he says. Toxic elderly parents suck the life out of their children who, even as adults, are constantly drawn back into their poisonous web of abuse, lies and denial. If anyone in your family displays any of these symptoms of toxic (i. She exhibits a tremendous sense of entitlement and feels totally justified in her tantrums. How To Deal With Toxic Family Members Who Are Bringing You Down It's not uncommon to have some family members who are the absolute worst. Naturally, it's generally best to avoid getting close to these people, if possible. First off, it’s hard to talk about something that has impacted my life with such fierce control. Deal with the real issue at hand—if in fact there is one—and then walk away. Subversive behavior is any type of. They have been hostile towards her ever since she remembers. Only you can decide how much contact is right for you. 5 Tips for Handling Toxic People in the Workplace. Or, on a more subtle level, if your cousin always makes you feel horrible by insulting you when you go shopping,. This may not always be possible though, it is conceivable that you may have personal ties to a toxic person through close ties (old friend/family)for these situations I think #3 is a great hint. Depending on the state where the trial takes place, the convicted murderer will either get life in prison without the possibility of parole or the death penalty if that state has it. How to handle bad neighbors. I’ve never been so happy in my life. Yeah, this isn’t a popular answer. If a family member is negative, brings you down and rejects your attempts to help them, it is a sign that you are dealing with a toxic person. What is one to do with a toxic family member… Listen: Lucy shares her story about the toxic relationship she has with her father, and how she went about cutting him from her life, on The Well. Friends truly are chosen family. “Stay very solution-oriented,” and if things get nasty, “ask them to not. Before you decide how to handle these negative feelings you're having, you need to home in on the specific reasons that are creating this particular situation between you and a new potential family member. When toxic members in your family see your shining overwhelming love from your heart, they will learn by your example on how to treat other humans with love, dignity, and respect they deserve. Here are 10 other signs of toxic sibling relationships: They are the favourite child; Parents should not have favourite children. They both had serious marital problems, and my sister wanted to be a SAHM. When dealing with a toxic person, especially when that person is a family member, the situation becomes twice as sticky because it seems much harder to deal with manipulative tactics, uncomfortable conversations and so forth. And, of course, organizations can refuse Sackler money moving forward, an approach articulated by the famed photographer Nan Goldin. When a family realizes that one of their members’ “drinking problem” is actually alcoholism, this is a big step forward in handling the situation. Remove Yourself From The Situation. Being treated badly by someone is painful enough, but when you're hurt by a family member, it can be especially hard to overcome. I have an uncle who has badgered me about living in the city, he says things like everyone gets shot because “they” are all savages and thugs. How to Deal with Toxic Family Members To get started, get clarity. Unless you still reside under the same roof, consider whether an alternate form of communication could help maintain the relationship with your toxic relative. Alithia Asturrizaga, a licensed clinical social worker at Alithia Psychotherapy Associates, P. 5 Tips for Handling Toxic People in the Workplace. Pastor Rick and the teaching team look at how to deal with the toxic people in our lives; in the religious sector, in our families and in the marketplace. Christ said He came to bring a sword of separation. Toxic Family Members? How would you deal with this situation?: I needed to delete the text for privacy reasons. Get to know each other. It will carry you out to sea. Book Review: Trump's Former VA Secretary Describes 'Toxic' Washington Culture In New Book David Shulkin's memoir, It Shouldn't Be This Hard to Serve Your Country, focuses on his time as veterans. Will they ever change? What will it take to get through to them? They apologized, but will this time be different…or will they just get better at. As an adult I tried my best to be a good family member and enjoy some happy times together - to put the past behind. Don’t give in to them. John 13:1-17 – Foot Washing. Glass is the is the. #3 - Figure Out (And Enforce) The 'Natural Consequences'. Goldin became addicted to Oxycontin, got clean, and subsequently formed an advocacy group and pressed the Sackler family and Purdue Pharma to fund addiction treatment and education. Iv even accepted I’m the black sheep of the family because I don’t like to argue and try to be pretty low key during the holidays. Some family members take up so much of your psychic energy and are so toxic to your well-being, that limiting or eliminating exposure to them may be necessary. Everybody has a difficult family member. Suzannah Weis s. A friend or family member escorts him to the appointment, which is usually just a few minutes after the intervention. Unlike most other folks commenting, I broke off a relationship with a toxic family member, my mother, about two years ago, and it was honestly the best thing I could do for myself. How to Get Through Tough Family Gatherings. As the song goes, breaking up is hard to do. Here are signs of a toxic family member, and an expert's advice on how to handle being around them—because "drink all of the wine" is not a sustainable plan. Neither members nor non-members may reproduce such samples in any other way (e. To reduce holiday stress, you have to pace yourself. Luckily, there are answers… 2) Kiss Up Or Shut Up. It doesn’t matter how badly they treated us when we were a child, they still believe we owe them. There are 3 strategies to deal with toxic family members. No matter the case, toxic family dynamics affect most of its members to the point that it causes extreme anxiety, depression, and a host of mental illnesses. Set limits: Know what you want and what you won't allow. 1- You can either completely cut them out of your life. Toxic family members have the advantage of gaining access to your financial information. Lastly, remind yourself that it’s not cruel to end a relationship with a toxic family member. Toxic family members simply don’t want to hear what we have to say. After all, as Christians we don’t just want to go off on our loved ones or respond in anger and hurt. There are two ways you can use in dealing with toxic family members. Every person has at least one family member that is difficult to deal with and toxic. If you have a seriously toxic friend, you may need to simply decrease the time you spend with her. Family members can be toxic. Learning how to manage boundaries with difficult relatives and toxic situations is one of the best places to start. You don’t want to end up splitting family members into those who support you and those who don’t. 5 Ways to Cope With a ‘Difficult’ Family Member around is an excellent opportunity to teach kids how to handle challenging relationships, a life skill that will serve them well at school. You can’t see it until you are caught in one and you will only exhaust. Maybe even coworkers. Compulsive Personality Type If people with difficult personality types tend to be rigid in how they interact , then those with a compulsive style are like the gods of rigidity. Move in with a friend, your partner, an extended family member. Trying to make a blended family a replica of your first family, or the ideal nuclear family, can often set family members up for confusion, frustration, and disappointment. A lot of people experience toxic people and we can mostly tolerate them as they are not related to you, but if that toxic person is a family member? How would you handle it? Here are some reasons why it is okay to leave or at least have a little space from them. How to Cope with a Toxic and Estranged Family Relationship 1. 1- You can either completely cut them out of your life. Helping Families Deal with the Stress of Relocation After a Disaster. It can persist for years to the point that no one really knows what started it. They are the type of individuals who make life difficult and have a stressful, draining, and overall negative effect on us. Because that is the problem with my family , everyone is depending on me. Test out new rules of engagement. You might be in love with this person or be absolutely attached their personal deeds, but still be suffering from the infliction caused by their toxicity. This article was republished with permission from. It’s an umbrella term with a suspiciously vague. How to deal with toxic parents & family members?. Begin by taking notice of your children’s moods, behaviors and emotions. How to Deal With Toxic People. It only takes one toxic person in your life to do untold damage. Sometimes due to alcoholism, substance abuse, poverty or personality conflicts, you have a toxic family life. Toxic family: how to deal with problem in-laws according to Bible teaching Dr. Everyone has family members and everyone has family members that are better than others. Otherwise, if things are getting too National Geographic as the offspring battles the parents for dominance, and they want to live with their own autonomy. On We Have Kids, Lizett, who has a psychology degree focused on counseling, says that first, you have to evaluate your relationship with your parents. It could be a toxic mother-in-law, a domineering father, a manipulative cousin, or even your own bratty child. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. Plus you can not save those whom do not wish to be saved, because they are having too much fun ruling over everyone. I think if we understand our toxic family members a little more we may be better equipped to deal with them and tolerate them because you know they aren’t going away anytime soon. Rewrite your part in the family drama. Some family members love to push your buttons, and may even thrive on it; however, you don’t have to take the bait. But it is important that we be measured in our reactions. Parliament member who organized a letter of support signed by more than 70 female members of Parliament. I'm thinking of the family who make excuses for a grandparent's memory loss and confusion ("It's not that bad") -- right up until the day he's found lost on the highway, having driven two states away. Christine and Kristen cover conflict resolution with friends, toxic family members, dealing with strained family relationships when it involves caregiving of a parent, difficult co-workers, different political views, and how to deal with pretentious people in your circle of connections. On an unconscious level, it’s hard for a family member to know where one ends and another begins. Get group help. But what can you do if the toxic person is your peer? Here are four steps you can take to deal with a toxic coworker. 3 million in total VC funding. Two versions of Seattle collided earlier. Whether you're dealing with a jealous sibling determined to spoil your celebrations, a bitter parent who thwarts your attempts at happiness, or a whining, negative. Because of the way my aunt and uncle treated both my grandfather and my late grandmother over the past 4 years (The more ill and help they needed, the further they moved away and almost stopped coming to see them all together. Additionally, other family members are likely to be involved. These past 3 yrs have been the easiest and it’s because I am not looking for the lesson in others miserable lives. To be on the safe side, I always erred on the side of caution and passed onto a coworker any family or friend that came across my desk while working in insurance and billing which isn't even the detailed sensitive information. #2 - Stand Up For Yourself. Thankfully, there are some things you can do to deal with people that don`t listen. ” A riptide is a strong current moving from the shoreline out towards the ocean. The fact-checkers, whose work is more and more important for those who prefer facts over lies, police the line between fact and falsehood on a day-to-day basis, and do a great job. Today, my small contribution is to pass along a very good overview that reflects on one of Trump’s favorite overarching falsehoods. Namely: Trump describes an America in which everything was going down the tubes under  Obama, which is why we needed Trump to make America great again. And he claims that this project has come to fruition, with America setting records for prosperity under his leadership and guidance. “Obama bad; Trump good” is pretty much his analysis in all areas and measurement of U.S. activity, especially economically. Even if this were true, it would reflect poorly on Trump’s character, but it has the added problem of being false, a big lie made up of many small ones. Personally, I don’t assume that all economic measurements directly reflect the leadership of whoever occupies the Oval Office, nor am I smart enough to figure out what causes what in the economy. But the idea that presidents get the credit or the blame for the economy during their tenure is a political fact of life. Trump, in his adorable, immodest mendacity, not only claims credit for everything good that happens in the economy, but tells people, literally and specifically, that they have to vote for him even if they hate him, because without his guidance, their 401(k) accounts “will go down the tubes.” That would be offensive even if it were true, but it is utterly false. The stock market has been on a 10-year run of steady gains that began in 2009, the year Barack Obama was inaugurated. But why would anyone care about that? It’s only an unarguable, stubborn fact. Still, speaking of facts, there are so many measurements and indicators of how the economy is doing, that those not committed to an honest investigation can find evidence for whatever they want to believe. Trump and his most committed followers want to believe that everything was terrible under Barack Obama and great under Trump. That’s baloney. Anyone who believes that believes something false. And a series of charts and graphs published Monday in the Washington Post and explained by Economics Correspondent Heather Long provides the data that tells the tale. The details are complicated. Click through to the link above and you’ll learn much. But the overview is pretty simply this: The U.S. economy had a major meltdown in the last year of the George W. Bush presidency. Again, I’m not smart enough to know how much of this was Bush’s “fault.” But he had been in office for six years when the trouble started. So, if it’s ever reasonable to hold a president accountable for the performance of the economy, the timeline is bad for Bush. GDP growth went negative. Job growth fell sharply and then went negative. Median household income shrank. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped by more than 5,000 points! U.S. manufacturing output plunged, as did average home values, as did average hourly wages, as did measures of consumer confidence and most other indicators of economic health. (Backup for that is contained in the Post piece I linked to above.) Barack Obama inherited that mess of falling numbers, which continued during his first year in office, 2009, as he put in place policies designed to turn it around. By 2010, Obama’s second year, pretty much all of the negative numbers had turned positive. By the time Obama was up for reelection in 2012, all of them were headed in the right direction, which is certainly among the reasons voters gave him a second term by a solid (not landslide) margin. Basically, all of those good numbers continued throughout the second Obama term. The U.S. GDP, probably the single best measure of how the economy is doing, grew by 2.9 percent in 2015, which was Obama’s seventh year in office and was the best GDP growth number since before the crash of the late Bush years. GDP growth slowed to 1.6 percent in 2016, which may have been among the indicators that supported Trump’s campaign-year argument that everything was going to hell and only he could fix it. During the first year of Trump, GDP growth grew to 2.4 percent, which is decent but not great and anyway, a reasonable person would acknowledge that — to the degree that economic performance is to the credit or blame of the president — the performance in the first year of a new president is a mixture of the old and new policies. In Trump’s second year, 2018, the GDP grew 2.9 percent, equaling Obama’s best year, and so far in 2019, the growth rate has fallen to 2.1 percent, a mediocre number and a decline for which Trump presumably accepts no responsibility and blames either Nancy Pelosi, Ilhan Omar or, if he can swing it, Barack Obama. I suppose it’s natural for a president to want to take credit for everything good that happens on his (or someday her) watch, but not the blame for anything bad. Trump is more blatant about this than most. If we judge by his bad but remarkably steady approval ratings (today, according to the average maintained by 538.com, it’s 41.9 approval/ 53.7 disapproval) the pretty-good economy is not winning him new supporters, nor is his constant exaggeration of his accomplishments costing him many old ones). I already offered it above, but the full Washington Post workup of these numbers, and commentary/explanation by economics correspondent Heather Long, are here. On a related matter, if you care about what used to be called fiscal conservatism, which is the belief that federal debt and deficit matter, here’s a New York Times analysis, based on Congressional Budget Office data, suggesting that the annual budget deficit (that’s the amount the government borrows every year reflecting that amount by which federal spending exceeds revenues) which fell steadily during the Obama years, from a peak of $1.4 trillion at the beginning of the Obama administration, to $585 billion in 2016 (Obama’s last year in office), will be back up to $960 billion this fiscal year, and back over $1 trillion in 2020. (Here’s the New York Times piece detailing those numbers.) Trump is currently floating various tax cuts for the rich and the poor that will presumably worsen those projections, if passed. As the Times piece reported: